George, Elaine, Jerry, and George

Scene I

(Scene opens in Jerry’s bedroom; morning; he’s just waking up.)

Jerry: (voice over) Oh my gosh…..What a great dream……What a great idea…..What a great idea for a new tv show….I’ve gotta write this down….Definitely gotta write this down before I forget…..Pen, pen. Need a pen. (starts looking for a pen) I’m gonna forget it if I don’t write it down now…..Where the heck are all my pens?…Pen, pen, pen….. Ah, here we go. Here we go. O.K. Okie-dokie. (Jerry sits down to begin to write) Oh, no…. You’ve gotta be kiddn’ me! A fine point pen??? I can’t write with a fine point pen! Who even writes with a fine point pen? How do I even have a fine point pen???? Forget about it, Jerry! Just find another pen….Don’t panic. I won’t forget the dream…. Just need to find another pen….. I can’t find another pen…. I’m forgetting the dream….. Don’t panic! I can’t find a pen! I’m forgetting the dream! I’m panicking!!! I need a pen!!!!! Kramer!!!! (Jerry goes to the phone, dials and speaks) Kramer! Get over here with a pen!!!!

(Enter Kramer before Jerry even puts down the phone in his usual Kramer manner, pen in hand)

Kramer: I’m here! What’s up!

Jerry: (reaching for the pen) I had this great dream that I had to write down…..

Kramer: (pulling the pen back, absent-mindedly) Dream?… You know, I had a great dream last night.

Jerry: (not really interested; reaching for the pen) Oh, really?

Kramer: (off in his own world) Oh yeah…. I was in a forest of maple trees….. and I came across this long table… you know the kind with the red and white checkered table cloth…..

Jerry: (still reaching for the pen) Uh-huh, uh-huh…

Kramer: So I pull up a chair and sit down… And these servants dressed in tuxedos start bringing me big plates of pancakes… Big, big stacks of them, maybe 8 or 9 high… It all seemed so natural, you know?

Jerry: (still reaching for the pen, getting more frustrated) Yeah, natural. If I could just…..

Kramer: Stay with me Jerr. It’s gets really good now….. All of a sudden the trees started gushing this thick, rich syrup… Ohhhhh, it was everywhere, Jerr. I was surrounded by it.

Jerry: (getting angrier) Great. Syrup. Now can I have the pen?

Kramer: No, no, Jerry. Not JUST syrup. I’m in a forest of maple trees. This stuff was real! And they’re bringin’ it to me by the pitcher. And I didn’t just put it on the pancakes, Jerr. Ohhhh, no. I started drinkin’ it right outta the pitchers!

Jerry: Kramer!!!

Kramer: (shaking his fists in excitement at Jerry, the pen now within Jerry’s reach) Real maple syrup, Jerr! Straight from the trees!!!!

Jerry: (snatching the pen) Give me that!

Kramer: (Still in his own world) Oooooozing down my chin…. Oh, was it good….. (Jerry, now with the pen, gets ready to write. Kramer snaps himself out of his trance) So what was your dream?

Jerry: (Throwing the pen aside in frustration) Oh, great! It’s gone now! I can’t believe this. I had this great idea for another tv show that I wanted to write down before I forgot…. Aw, forget it. (checking his watch) I gotta shower and meet Elaine for breakfast. (Walking towards the bathroom) Why couldn’t you just give me the pen?

Kramer: What. You don’t have any pens?

Jerry: Well, I found one but I couldn’t use it.

Kramer: Fine point?

Jerry: Yeah.

Kramer: (shudders) Yeah, I can’t write with those things either.